Today as I was doing a quick pick up, dust, and sweep the house, before going to teach disrespectful Jr. High kids, I heard Claire de Lune by Debussy on theradio.com. I knew it. I played it at my senior recital. Do you remember? I thought about the other pieces that I played that day. I was so pregnant with Eva. I didn't know that recital would end such an important part of me. Hopefully, it won't be over forever. Just for now.
Today as I listened to those notes, I could see them on the keyboard. I longed for that creative part of myself that has been laid to rest. I longed to feel the way I felt when I played. I longed for the connection to myself that I gleaned as I practiced so many hours to understand those musical masterpieces. I miss playing the piano.
I wanted to tell you, because you knew me when I could call myself a musician. Not because I was so good, but because I spent so many hours a day in pursuit of trying to be so good. And mostly because I loved it so much. And also because I never could have done any of it without you. I treasure what you taught me. As much as I miss it, and as many years as have passed, I'd like to think that I learned more than music during all those years, and I am more well equipped to do the tasks I have at hand now because of what music taught me about myself.
I miss you lenora, and I miss so deeply playing the piano. Someday I am going to show up on your door step and I will be ready to take lessons again. I'll look forward to that.
Brook
