Welcome

For those of you who know me I am a total cry baby. And lately I have been seriously worried about it, because it seems to be getting worse. I cry everyday. I watched the end of Mulan with Eva the other day and bawled my eyes out. I have seen it 7,543 times! I can't comment AT ALL in any church meeting without crying. Even if I don't feel that emotional about what I am saying. I told Justino, maybe it is nerves to speak in spanish. Could be. Although I doubt it because I have commented in spanish in church for ten years now.

Today is no exception.

I have been bawling since I heard that the picture I have posted here would FINALLY be able to be taken. It is my old friend/missionary companion, Lisa, her husband Felix and their new daughter Paola. Since I met Lisa ten years ago she wanted children. She has always wanted children. It seems that god always gives us what we don't want, and so is the case with Lisa. She didn't want years of marriage before starting a family, but god gave her seven. She woke up this morning and went to work never dreming that she would get the message today that today her family would grow from two to three.

When I heard about I couldn't stop bawling. Today was a big day for Paola, she met the parents that will love her forever and she also turned two. We went over there for cake. She was serious mostly, and the neglect that she has suffered until now is evident. But as the evening progressed she smiled and lauged. I wept on the way home thinking about how she has suffered. Then I wept thinking about how that suffering is over, because she has found her home, and the ONLY thing they want to do is love the hurt right out of her little heart. They will, I know they will.

I cried when I told Justino that Paola needs them and that they need Paola. We laughed and I cried as we said that we know that this new addition to their family will not make their lives easier but it will make their lives richer and more full of joy. Then I cried thinking of my own pups and how hard and rich and full they make my life.

It is not uncommon for me to say that I am going to sell my kids to the gypsies because I don't really like them that much anyway, but looking at a little girl who really has lived in a home where they really did want to give her away, I was humbled. Then cried because I love my kids.

So here I am just crying and crying for cartoons and good news and everything in between. And today as I was stressing about how silly I feel for being such a titty mouse ( as in cry baby titty mouse) I had two thoughts that made me think maybe it was ok. First I had a flash of my aunt jolene, who cries about everyting also. I have watched her in any given conversations well up, and then simply state, " it makes me cry". Something about that made me feel like it was ok for me to be that way too. And the second thing was a scripture, particulary the way the scripture reads in spanish.

In english it says that we should " mourn with those mourn" but in spanish it says we should "cry with those who cry" That is so me. No one in my presense will ever be crying alone, or for that matter no one will ever be in even a situation that merits tears without me getting on the water works bandwagon to support them. I am going to remember that next time I feel embarrased because I can't keep my voice from cracking. I think I will also try wearing sunglasses more often so that my eyes won't look so red.

But tonight I am not even ashamed that I that I cried... ok that I am currently crying big fat tears for Paola, and Lisa and Felix who have just formed a beautiful family. I wish them the very best. These tears are a long time coming and for that I say to them and to Paola

WELCOME