We still believe in miracles

SO the subtitle of this blog is " We believe in Miracles". When I wrote that originally on this blog I still believed that we would be granted the visa and back in the states shortly, and really if I was being honest at the time I would have written, "We believe ONLY in the miracle of a visa and our return to the states, any other miracle is not in our agenda" Today that is no longer true, we believe in all miracles and I am happy to report that we have recently experienced one.

This miracle has been coming over the past few weeks but has solidified in the past few days. About two weeks ago I found the answer to a spiritual quandary that has been an irritant since we were denied the visa. That in itself could take up several blogs, but the short of it is that I received my answer and it has been so healing that I feel like have lost 500 lbs and I am not the same person. I find myself happy to take care of kids, instead of resentful and tired. I have more energy and I feel so light hearted. I haven't felt light hearted since Feb 7, 2007. It has been so refreshing.

Coupled with a spiritual cleansing, Justino got a promotion and a raise and work, and I got offered a job to teach piano at a music school that is within walking distance of my house. I am loving my house and feeling that it is not only adequate, but cute all at the same time. For the first time in Mexico I have hope that all my needs could be met in this country. I am finding such peace and happiness here.

There is still a small twang of pain when I think about our choice to go back being taken away. I cried in church on Sunday when a member of my ward in Utah surprised me by being at church here. He asked me if there was anything he could do for me before his vacation ended, and I told him to go back to Utah and hug my mother. He rang her doorbell last night and did it for me. Something about seeing him here and it being such a reminder of life lost there, felt a little like picking off a scab. But I have identified that the hurt isn't being in Mexico, it is the ridiculousness of my "free" government putting me in a position where I have to choose between my country or my husband. Because frankly, when I think about it today, I think even with a visa, I would choose Mexico to be my home. And that my friends, considering all that has transpired, is nothing short of a miracle.